Hong Kong - 17 to 21 Sept

A Haircut With Love

I see cutting hair for kids as a symbol for being a "real" mother. Our moms cut our hair anyway. So I bought a pair of japanese scissors, which cost $79 (!!!). I somehow managed to convinced myself that it's worth it. My calculations were that to break-even, assuming $10 per haircut, I just need to cut my kid's hair for 8 times.

For almost 3 years, I had not cut their hair once. Initially because they were too fragile, when they were strong enough, I somehow got used to the convenience of a family hairdresser. My investment in the jap-scissors was a total failure, until last week.

We came back from Hong Kong (yes we went to Hong Kong! Pictures on the way). Bevan's hair was so long that its tickling his eyes. I have decided to open the box of $79-scissors.

I went "Ooops-Sorry" here and there, but look! How nice!! I am pleased. I just have $69 more to go.

Marrying Mr Right

A dear friend of mine, who’s preparing her wedding, asked me, how do you know he’s the right one?

I thought about it for a while before I told her that with Mr Right -
You would always love to have a big hug with him, unlike how you can’t happily passionately hug Mr Wrong. And, you can go anywhere on earth with him, leaving anything behind. Because he loves you the way you like it, you have the confidence and no reservations. Most importantly, you are not missing anyone else.

When I was young and unsure, I asked my friends the same question. They gave me really cool and helpful answers.

6 years ago I asked Vivian.
She said - (and we were working in the mobile phone industry then), choosing husband is like choosing mobile phone plan. Some plan offer more free messages, less talk time, some has more talk time lesser free messages, some has auto roam, caller ID, some has dataplan. So, different users with different usage patterns would choose different plans. You could be right now. However, the key is, when your usage pattern changes (like if you need multi simcards now), it’s important that your plan (ie husband) grow or change together with you.
It's funny, but if you think about it carefully, it’s such a great analogy.

8 years ago I asked Ellena.
She said - when you’ve met him finally, you just knew it.
Short and sweet and bingo.

Interviewed By Kai En

It's my honour to be interviewed by Kai En!

She is a customer of mine who custom made a pair of wedding bands from my shop. She said she loves our products and services. (Thank you!)

I find her questions rather comprehensive, and the interview should come in handy for couples, and anybody who is interested in diamonds and jewelleries, wedding items especially. The interview was published in a book - The Wedding Manual, now available online.

1. Most men are befuddled by diamonds. Some heard that the bigger the diamond, the better. There are others who claim the cut matters most. Still, there are those who are only assured by the brand name. Can you briefly explain what to look out for in a diamond?

It sounds like a cliché, but the bible is – the 4Cs.

1. Carat – Is a weight. Except for unusual deep/shallow-cuts, most of the time, weight does reflect the size (i.e. big or small). And size, is known to be the most obvious C.

2. Colour – The second most obvious C ranged from D to Z, it’s graded by trained pair of eyes under daylight, by comparison. DEF are colourless and are most desirable. Most people perceived a whiter diamond to be a better diamond. Because the rest, are harder to judge.

3. Cut – A good cut gives a diamond optical efficiency. It’s internationally recognised that 57/58 facets gives the best brilliance, fire, and scintillations. The many-facets or the many-patterns-under-fire-scopes, are advertising subjects. If you love premium cuts, 3EX (in cuts/polish/symmetry) is believed to emit maximum light returns, and since it’s noted on GIA report, and since GIA is reliable, international, and academic, the grading last longer than advertised cuts.

4. Clarity – Refers to the freedom from inclusions, which are usually microscopic. Except for rare big clouds that affect light reflections, VS1 or 2 are totally acceptable and recommended.

The 5th C is Cost. I’ve heard that the proposal ring should cost 3 times of the man’s salaries. A general guideline for a nice diamond to be proud of, and yet practical in dollars and sense, would be DEF, VS, EX/VG. Size wise, it does matters, but it’s very personal.

2. For engagement rings, is there a standard that it should be a solitaire?

I have designed and made rings with other stones like sapphires or rubies requested by bride-to-bes. However, diamonds are believed to be forever (literally because they have hardness scale 10). And one single diamond symbolises my-only-one-forever, it is undeniably more meaningful.

3. This question is for men who want to buy the engagement ring secretly but they don't know their girlfriend's ring size! Could you advise?

I have received thread, paper strips, diameter and circumference in mm, but they are all not accurate. If you don’t have help from bride-to-be’s best friends/ sisters/ mother, we could follow the following guidelines, which is my general observations for non-Cinderella-Singaporean-girls. Bigger is better than smaller (so that you could slip her into the ring), and remember to ask for 1 free resizing from the jeweller.

Clothes Size: Extra Small
Ring size: 5/6/7

Clothes Size: Small
Ring size: 7/8/9

Clothes Size: Medium
Ring size: 9/10/11

Clothes size: Large
Ring size: 11/12/13

Clothes size: Extra Large
Ring size: 13/14/15

4. I have seen most wedding bands are made different for the bride and groom. Typically, the bride's band has diamonds and the groom's band will be plain. Are diamonds a no-no for the masculine?

I find Asian guys (Japanese and Hong Kongers) more opened to diamonds than Westerners. For Singaporean guys who live in highly mixed cultural society, the choice would depend on the individual.

I think guys could keep an open mind. Singaporean guys are getting more interesting in their outfits; they could slowly get more opened to diamonds. As long as you don’t work in the jungle, one nice hardy diamond, (if he doesn’t like rounds brilliant, he could venture into less sparkly cut, like baguette, emerald, tapered shapes), a black diamond, or a manly blue sapphire, would make your wedding band special.

5. What kind of metal would you recommend for the band? White gold, yellow gold, platinum or even titanium?

Traditionally the valuable metals are gold and platinum. Titanium, light and cheap, together with other metals like stainless steel, was used more for industrial purposes. So I would rule out Titanium for wedding bands.

18k white gold, an alloy of gold and palladium (and sometimes nickel) is lighter and more affordable than platinum. It’s strong and highly recommended for setting of diamonds. It does turn yellowish after wearing for sometimes (a year, more or less), but re-plating (of rhodium) is a simple process. 18k yellow gold and 18k rose gold (with copper content) look good on fair skin, and it adds on to the variety in designs.

Platinum is heavy. The benefit is that it’s a white metal. However, do note that it’s usually 2 to 3 times more expensive than 18k white gold.

6. For those looking for a unique pair of wedding bands, what would you suggest?

1. Design your own rings together. If you are genetically not strong in drawing, you could get inspirations from magazines; work with your jeweller to combine your favourite designs. It would be even better to be inspired by designs that you see on physical rings, you could visualise better that way.

2. Don’t just get what you see from the counter, make changes – like change the diamond shape, the colours, the finishing (gloss/ matte), would add little pleasant surprise to your bands.

3. Create a joint signature and let your jeweller craft it on the rings.

4. Lastly, and simplest of all, engrave a special or a secret message inside the ring.

7. For the budget conscious, what would you recommend?

1. Choose plain white gold instead of platinum, or a mixed of white/rose/yellow gold.

2. Choose bands that are not too broad, the broader it is, the heavier it is, and gold/ platinum price go by grams.

3. Select from the counter designs, make minimal changes to the rings, you could still change the finishing.

4. Do without comfort fit if you can, choose straight fit. A comfort fit ring could be 1-3 grams heavier than a straight fit ring.

Bevan's Conversation With Teachers

Bevan: I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow!
Teachers: Wow! Are you going to Disneyland?
Bevan: I am going to an EXHIBITION!
Teachers: Oh, they didn't invite me, did they invite you?
Bevan: Yes! They sent me invitation card.

One day Bevan was crying and refused to go in to the class
Teachers: I need your help to cut the papers.
Bevan: **Cry* No I don't want to cut. Sorry no THANK YOU! *Cry*
Teachers: *Burst out laughing* I love your mannerism!

Teachers: You have a very nice pair of shoes, can I borrow them?
Bevan: No, the shoes are too small for you, your feet are bigger.

Birthday Party 2: With Classmates

Being the Prince, or the King, or the Tan Seri Agong in the family, of course birthday celebration doesn't end with just a BBQ party. Bevan celebrate his 3YO birthday 3 times! One BBQ party. One with his classmates. One with just the 4 of us.

I just realised - we are the hopeless kind of parents, whom I once didn't understand.

So for his class party, we bought a nice cake and wrapped up more gift bags for his classmates. To make our efforts sound reasonable - it’s another little step to let him enjoy his class. Plus I really love seeing his pictures in class. Look at his little classmates!

Bevan Rolled Down The Steps

A few weeks ago, we went to a close friend’s house warming. We had fun eating pizza and chatting, while the kids played drawing in her Mahjong Room. It was almost 10pm, and we’re leaving. We stepped out of the house, there was a staircase with rather narrow steps, and it was wet due to the drizzle.

I was the one holding Bevan. While I did pay additional attention in catching the steps, Bevan tripped, fell, and I didn’t catch him tight. He rolled down the steps! 1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps... there were 7 to 8 steps. Daddy Koh, who was behind us, in his attempt to rescue him, was also tripped, slided down the 7 to 8 steps like how you would slide on a slide.

Bevan was of course frightened, cried and was soothed with a few kisses and assurance. He was not hurt at all. Daddy Koh was also not hurt at all. Thank God.

We’ve forgotten about this incident.

A few weeks later, Bevan, being his hoppy self, while doing another monkey jump in the office, tripped again, and then knocked on the table.

He told me
“Mommy I fell down just now, like in Aunty’s house. This time only fell down 2 steps. But in Aunty’s house I fell down many many steps.”

It’s an incident that he remembers, and he might relate all trips and falls to this iconic one. So I've decided to note it down.

Little Drumers

When I was as young as a secondary school student, I secretly admired my seniors who played the drumset (sooo cool!). So when I saw this in one of Bevan's 3YO birthday presents, I was almost more excited than him. See how happy they are, just ignore the part about how noisy our house is.

SME Pain

Incident 1
Last Saturday I was telling a friend, who works for an employment agency, that I am looking for production assistant and admin assistant, and if he could help.

Then first thing he said was: “We are very expensive one.”
The second thing he said: “You have the space meh?”

I politely assured him that we can afford both space and fees. He almost reluctantly agreed to call me on Monday. On Tuesday I received his call

“Sorry I cannot work with you, because we did a ROC check, and your paid-up-capital is only a few hundred dollars.”

I suggest you do a bank account check. Or corporate income tax check.

Incident 2
I went posting for job vacancy on a online job agency. I went through almost 15 candidates, and finally signed a LOA for a girl, the next day she called and said she would like to accept the job from another company

“Because they have an accounts department” she said.

So, it doesn’t help that your boss is more understanding, your colleagues are like one big family, your bonus is a few months higher. And there is one popular term called the office politics, usually happens in departments, good luck.

And then I hear my friends saying, "Ai yo you should just dissemintate all your jobs and go be a tai-tai!" Ya sure.

Daddy Says

Because of how loud he is when he cries, and how assertive his tone is when he talks, we always thought Berton would be the fierce and naughty boy at home.

We are surprised! Berton is such a lovable little darling.

When Berton comes to me for a hug and refuses to let go when I am working, I just have to say “Hey-eik Berton, Mommy is working”. You see this clumsy little toddler, mumbling “yesh mama”, sliding down from my lap, walking away looking for new games.

When he refuses to sleep, all I have to say is “time to sleep now, Didi”, or to be more effective, I say “Daddy says it’s time to sleep now”, he forces himself to close his eyes tight (see picture!) and falls asleep in the next few minutes. He has this unconditional love and unquestionable respect for his Daddy. I. Am. Amazed.

One thing for sure, this obedient-gene is not inherited from me.

Party Updates!

Bevan’s 3YO birthday party started at our cosy BBQ pit. It was fun, except that the kids were too young to help up, and the adults had to shield them away from the fire. While the kids were playing lanterns and the adults eating, the-worst-scenario-of-a-BBQ happened - it started to rain!

Our honourable guests had to cover their heads with aluminium foils or pans of chicken wings, while running into the games room (Mommy Koo booked it for contingency out of woman instinct, haha). We had the whole games room to ourselves, and that was where the real party began. The kids were shouting and cheering at the table-soccer, the Gen-X-and-Y (also known as middle-aged) playing snooker (Daddy Koh was the winner!), and the grand-dys singing karaoke.

Bevan was over the moon, he sat on the snooker table with his fire-engine-cake, posed for many cameras, and we had laughing-scare while he pretended to unintentionally poke and step on his cake.

It was so much fun for us (except for not having enough food when we stop BBQ during the rain, sorry dear guests!). When we finally cleaned up and went to bed at 12am, Bevan kept talking about who-and-who-came-to-the-party, and “Mommy, I like parties. Let’s have party again tomorrow”.

3YO Fireman's Invitation